There is a lot in a name

Friday, 30, November 2007
By: Kholood F. Al-Rhamah

Naming children after their parental grandparents is a Saudi tradition, but lately mothers have shown resistance and the conflict is causing confusion and creating devastating friction.

Wesam Al-Dabey is the only male among his other five siblings. He got married almost a year and a half ago and has a five-month-old boy. Al-Dabey completely believes in the mother's right to choose her baby's name, but he became embroiled in old mores and faced uncomfortable circumstances that almost led to divorce.

"Before my baby's birth I asked my father if he wants me to name my child after him and he said he didn't. I decided to call him after my wife's father because it was her wish since he is diseased." Al-Dabey said.

He added, after his son's birth his father changed his mind and insisted on having his grandson named after him. Al-Dabey said this caused his wife to leave him and go back to her family. She was adamant about choosing the name she wanted.

"Five months later we were almost on the brink of a divorce, but I managed to sort things out and she came back to live with me" Al-Dabey said. "She called my son by a different name while I used my father's name on the birth certificate."

Al-Dabey believes it is up to his son to choose which name he prefers when he grows up.

Doaa Saad has been separated from her husband for about a year. She was having problems with him and on top of that, she refused to call their daughter after his mother.

"We agreed to call her "Logain" but after we separated he insisted on calling "Wafaa" after his mother." Saad said. "I refused but he is still insistent and why my daughter doesn't have a birth certificate yet."

She calls the girl Diana and her father calls her Wafaa.

Dr. Mohammed Al-Hamid, a consultant and the head of the psychiatric division in Bakhsh hospital explained how badly this could affect a child.

"Having a name is the most important thing to a child and to a human being in general. It forms a big part of the identity, an inseparable part of it, that's why a person should not have more than one name." Al-Hamid said.

The psychiatric expert said having two names could cause a psychological disturbance. An identity disorder creates problems for children when they are dealing with others and forms a complex. Al-Hamid Said it is very important to agree on a name for the child's present and future health. He said he has met children with two names and the effects start to take hold when they are after about 11 years old. However, he added not all children end up with a problem.

Dr. Ahmed Banany, a professor in the Islamic department of the religious guidance Umm Al-Qura University gave the Islamic point of view.

"Religious instructions guide us to choose names for our children like Abdullah, Abdul-Rahman or Mohammed and the prophet Mohammed (Peace Be Upon Him), urged us to use these good names to motivate children to do good deeds and be obedient in life so they can be an active source" Banany Said.

He said children should be named after their paternal and maternal relatives and Islam gives them equal rights.